Hey, I've had a lot of work to do, and 12pm starts are absolutely killing me, so don't blame me for the roughly two month gap between updates...
Anyway, we're coming to the crunch final games, so it's probably a good time to have a look at what's happening in each of the leagues, and whether or not anybody in League One has bothered to kick a ball yet.
Premiership
At the bottom, things are looking especially rosy for Donnie Darko, who looks set for relegation through either nominative determinism or complete hopelessness, and with Barcelona of all teams. At least he's still up for a title, albeit not a flattering one - it's between Donnie and Legendary in the fight against going the entire season without winning a match.
Although relegation is still kinda open all the way to Sean's Sevilla side, we're probably looking at Steely, Joe, Samo and Sith, with the latter having played a game more and staring the drop right in the face.
Ok, I suppose Donnie's not mathematically out of it yet, but I fear maths aren't going to save him now, not when it's maths that mean he's got a goal difference of -43 and he's screwed if anyone above hits twenty points. Which they will.
The title is a four way race at this point. Jamin, Pompey, Tyler and Rocafella could be separated by as little as two points when games in hand come into play. The remaining games feature two top-end clashes, with Pompey facing Rocafella in the penultimate week, and Tyler and Rocafella battling it out on the final day.
I'd be biting my nails if I hadn't got over that habit years ago.
Championship
Baring pretty much looks set to go up, although Link will challenge him all the way for the title, and JohnnyArgos will also want to get a hand in that automatic promotion pie. Tomox wants a slice of pie too, with his matches against Johnny likely to end the challenge of at least one side.
The playoffs are impossible to call given that virtually everyone is still in the hunt, right down to Pete at the bottom. It doesn't look so rosy for Ryanski though, as when he's not getting skinned in BAP by otherwise ineffectual wingers who don't get up until noon, he's in real danger of relegation if he doesn't pick up some more points.
League One
They've played games, but they might as well not have bothered as after 88 games between them they still haven't decided anything. Everyone down to Pilotwings in eighth place still has a realistic chance of winning the title, while the other four are involved in a relegation battle that could yet drag in anyone as high as Jazzy. It's utter nonsense.
Still, the title will likely hinge on the final two ties of SaintM's season, with his plucky Birmingham facing fellow challengers and confirmed point-scorers Fry and AlSleep in succession. With Saint sitting only two points behind with a game in hand, the right set of results could hand him the title, or it could be an opportunity for any of the five teams below to slip in and take the title.
League Two
Normality ensues here with three teams in the title hunt, one struggling for points at the bottom, and the others trying to snag a playoff spot whilst simultaneously being delighted when they move further away from the drop.
Of note however is the fact that leader Zapp0mus1c still hasn't drawn a game this season.
No, that's not even of note either. The three title challengers don't even have the good grace to play each other in the final week of the season. Honestly, it's like they know nothing of dramatic tension.
Conference
Now here we've got facts. PaulyC has run away with the title but the man's doing it in exceptional style, having yet to register a single league defeat. Ever, in fact. He's scored a total of 62 goals in his surge to the top, and pretty much won't be stopped. Hooray for him.
Elsewhere, well, it's difficult to really say. Richmac, Dave, Gus and Gerry Helmet are all reasonable shouts for the second place spot given the right results, although it's Gerry in 7th place who can nab the most points when he gets around to playing.
Legendary's hunt for a win will continue, but he does play Sporting Goat Keeper, so if it's a title you're after Donnie, there is hope yet.
-Fry
